The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
