Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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