just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
