Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
