yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
