Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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