She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
