new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
