I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
