Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
