ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
