Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
time to smoke my breakfast
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
