we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
