I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
