New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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