Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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