I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
