I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
