Sry I called you an 8
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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