Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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