am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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