Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm both gender and math confused
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
