I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
