I'm really into asian looking animals
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
