The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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