i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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