my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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