I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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