I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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