i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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