jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
