I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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