PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
