i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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