If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
