Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
