Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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