seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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