He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
