He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
