One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
