Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
