She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
