We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Your penis caused this!
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