I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
