I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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