That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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