she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is classic penis vs brain.
Everclear isn't food dammit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
