I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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