she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
