we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
