my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
